Anger not only causes damage to your body but can cause a great deal of havoc in relationships, both personal and professional. Angry people find themselves increasingly isolated. Other people do not want to be around someone who is likely to become hostile or filled with rage. Bosses and co-workers do not want to put up with "bad moods" or always be on the lookout for the first signs of a flareup or meltdown.
Families and friends soon get fed up with trying to maintain an accommodating atmosphere that won't anger you. The tension and hostility causes frustration and resentment in the very people who you want to support and love you.
I am a family educator and coach and work with families just like yours and mine all over the world. One of the most reoccurring themes is anger. How it works, how to manage it, where it comes from and what to do when it is directed at you.
People who have undergone a trauma or are in the middle of a stressful situation may turn to anger because they don't know other ways to express their frustrations. it may relieve your tension momentarily, but it is not a good way to handle stress long term. When you express excess anger in your relationships, it may work in the short run to make a temporary change, but people will soon resist or avoid you.
Anger is a powerful emotion and is experienced for many reasons. it may be expressed with physical and emotional components like:
- extreme displeasure.
It can also be displayed physically by:
- destructive behavior toward self, others and property.
- verbal attacks
- violent behavior
- threats towards others and self
Anger is expressed in varying ranges from irritated to enraged. When anger is expressed correctly, it is the basis for change and the outcome is positive. When expressed in a dangerous way, the result can vary from hurt feelings and strained relationships to destruction of property and even suicide.
You can learn to Control your anger by recognizing the triggers and redirecting those emotions and feelings to more positive outlets.
Under every angry outburst or feeling is an unmet need. What do you need to make you feel safe and respected? Can you ask for that instead of blowing up about something that really is just "the straw that broke the camel's back?"
It is your responsibility to control your anger and handle your emotions in a positive way. Immature people blame others or deny the effects of an angry outburst. A mature response is to examine the cost of that outburst, find a way to fill the underlying need and make a concentrated effort to overcome angry actions and thoughts.
I have confidence in your ability to change destructive habits. Others have done it and so can you. Your relationships, health and well-being are counting on it.