To many dads discipline meaning yelling, threatening or spanking when the behavior of the child is unacceptable. they may be confusing discipline, which means loving guidance and teaching, with punishment.
Punishment is punitive and harsh. Their own fathers worked long hours and the mother did most of the parenting, sometimes with a threat of "just wait till your father comes home." Consequently males may have grown up without a strong caring father or in many cases, no father present at all. So they are not sure how to parent or how to get cooperation without punishing or yelling. If there is a blended family or the children are in two household it is very important for dads to be consistent in giving kind, firm guidance and discipline.
Strict, Lenient or Inconsistent
If one parent is permissive and the other is punitive or strict, the combined methods constitute a mixed approach. to kids this is like living in a country where two different governments are operating simultaneously. Kids figure out quickly that they rules are different between two parents and they learn to play one against the other. This mixed or inconsistent approach brings out the most extreme reactions in parents and children. So as a dad, make a decision that your method of parenting will be consistent and respectful. Once your child knows what your expectations are, he or she will more easily rise to meet those guidelines and trust you.
5 Tips For Dads To Build Strong Relationship With Their Child
- Be firm, kind and respectful in setting boundaries."We don't use that kind of language in this house. Please do not say it again."
- Try to say yes more often than no. "Yes, you may have a cookie, right after dinner."
- Use logical consequences to correct inappropriate behavior."If you leave your bike outside on the sidewalk once more, we will put it in the garage for a week." And then do it.
- Be a role model of integrity. Your child will learn much more from what you do than from what you say.
- Hold family meetings to allow everyone to share ideas and suggestions to make the family connect more closely and the house run smoothly. Make these meetings a priority and make them a joyful time, not a time of correction or conflict.
Being an effective and loving Dad is one of the highest honors a man can have. When you build those strong connections and trust with your child, you will have gained a legacy that you can both be proud of.